The
Self-Sabotage Cycle;
Why We Repeat Behaviors That Create Hardships and Ruin
Relationships
Authors: Stanley Rosner, Ph.D. and Patricia Hermes
Publisher: Praeger Publishers, Westport, CT. 2006
Reviews
Rosner,
a clinical psychologist, and Hermes, an author, discuss
the cycle of self-destruction that affects some people
in interpersonal relationships, its causes, and how to
recognize and change it. Through stories of cases, they
describe repetitive behavior arising from early
childhood, in marriage, in child rearing, on the job,
and in ways people try to rescue or repent. Addictions
and repetition compulsion are also covered.
—SciTech Book News December 2006
Acknowledgments
The
years of study, of course, of supervision, and of my
personal analysis have served as the foundation for over
forty-five years of practice of psychotherapy and
psychoanalysis. But this book could not have been
written without the teaching of my patients. It
was only through them, their efforts to open up their
thoughts, memories, and feelings, and their ability to
relate to me in their own unique ways that this book
could be written.
Dynamic
psychotherapy and psychoanalysis is an art as well as a
science, and its essence lies in the relationship.
Part of that relationship consists of my ability to tune
in to and to resonate with my patients much like the
give and take in playing duets.
Description
A
12-year-old boy vows he will never do to his future
family what his father did by leaving the boy, his
sister and mother. Yet, 30 years later, the boy now a
man leaves his own family. A young woman who's broken
off an abusive relationship is now attracted to the same
kind of personality in a potential boyfriend. And an
attorney who grew up with an impossible-to-please father
takes a job in a firm where the boss thinks praise is
never productive. These are the kind of repetitive
cycles that Stanley Rosner has seen time and again in
his practice across 40 years as a clinical psychologist.
A past president of the Connecticut Psychological
Association, Rosner examines in this book whether there
is for some people a compulsion to repeat
self-destructive acts, and what the foundation for that
compulsion might be, as well as how it can be changed to
afford better, happier living. Assisted by popular
author Patricia Hermes, Rosner offers many eye-opening
vignettes from his therapy rooms, showing us clearly how
early life events can create unconscious dilemmas that
move us to repeat the situation in other forms. He aims
to show us how we can resolve the issues that linger,
explaining how to recognize these issues, then move
forward to put them to rest in ways that are not
self-sabotaging. "What I have to offer," says
Rosner, "is the opportunity for change." |